Mental Illness : My thoughts. Don't suffer alone!

Don't suffer alone!

A small snippet of my thoughts and life about the taboo subject on mental illness.
This will all come from my own experiences.

Well as many of you know I have suffered mental illness for a very long time.

Ok actually let's put it out there, my diagnosis ' : I was originally diagnosed with depression, then manic depression.

 
Officially now the diagnosis is Bipolar Affective Disorder type 2.
Since then I have had many tests on mental illness and personality types. These have come back with Borderline Personality disorder, Dependency disorder and Alcoholism.

Now I know from my experiences that over time yes I have fit in to these categories but I think many of us had at some stage, others not at all and some other 'boxes'.
I say 'boxes' as I believe if things are not 'normal' they HAVE to put you in a box.

I find nowadays that people are not allowed to be just sad or down. You have to have "depression" and be on medication.  I feel doctors are throwing medication down our throats too quickly, chopping/changing them too and slapping some diagnosis about. I say this as this is dangerous. It is dangerous to take drugs. With careful consideration and close monitoring it can be very effective. 

I am not putting down the diagnosis of mental illness at all, mental illness is a real thing. There is a difference between a blue mood and depression. Depression affects your mood, your physical health, thoughts and overall wellbeing.

After 15 years and many many a time of rapid cycling, manic episodes, depression and 2 hospital admissions and an attempt of suicide, I have accepted that yes I do have emotional imbalances and alot comes from circumstantial environment. The hardest part is when i have no reason. I can sit and search and search and do not know why i am unhappy. It is hard for me to still accept that I have a mental illness but it does not dictate what I do or how I act. 

In times of distress I do sometimes over react and let my mind run with itself. I have however learnt to pull myself up very quickly. Usually within hours of something triggering me to lapse. Or I find of late that I retreat in to a sort of hiding, so I don't communicate with people. This could be dangerous in itself. 

My biggest fear is that all the years of medications and some harsh ones over time that I could possibly have had done some damage. All I want is to one day be completely med free. I am however down to just one. One!!!!! A very mild mood stabilizer. Yay!

What I am trying to put across is that it is okay to have problems. It is okay to talk about them without judgment.

 
We do bring a lot on to ourselves but sometimes we think we are doing right or there actually is another underlying issue that needs addressing. Also people need to communicate with each other to help get a better understanding and not point fingers and blame an illness. Don't use it as an escape goat from the real issues.

Mental illness does not make who you are. It something that you have and with good support from family, friends and the community you WILL BE OKAY and can live just as large a life as anyone else or as large as you want. 

But please don't ever think you will be looked down upon if you are suffering. Speak up, there is always someone out there to hear you and support you. I have not always had the support, even with me explaining myself and my cycles. It is hard for people to understand. We need to be educated on this not allow it to be taboo no more. It is hard for people to know what to do but sometimes it is just an ear and a sympathetic hand that could help that person in that very dark moment.

I just want everyone to know that no matter your situation or position is that you mean something to someone. I want people to start to tell others how they feel. Show you care for one another. 

This goes for anyone. BE HAPPY, smile TODAY! Life can be wonderful and there is always something beautiful at every moment of everyday! Help someone smile today!

Love Teegs :-P
xo

I had written this last night and it had come to light this morning that a truly amazing actor who has made us laugh and enjoy the lighter side of life with his hilarious comedy and family feel fun has succumbed to mental illness. It can affect any one person no matter your social status. RIP Robin Williams.